三点半的败仗

沒想到， 我的意志力是那么的坚强。 今天， 走到每个街头； 经过每段小巷； 转每个corner， 都会想起她， 可是都会告诉自己 - 不要打扰她温习。

等待巴士对面有一家Greggs。 看到外面排着长龙的人， 人潮挤挤的去买香喷喷火热的pastries - 我有点忍不住， 想买个刚出炉的roast chicken bake与她分享。可是， 我硬着头皮上了巴士。

下午饮茶时间到了， 我到了refectory里买了杯咖啡和个Mars bar. 当我在一面吃巧克力， 一面等待咖啡机准备着香浓的咖啡 - 我又有点认不住， 想随手买多一杯latte和一支Kinder Bueno的巧克力给她享受。可是， 我闭上了眼睛， 转头就走。

直到下午時候， 应为今早运动了三个钟， 而且整天没什么吃东西 - 肚子差点饿坏了。她可不知道。。。 其实我就在你家对面的Subway用了餐。 这时， 很像打个电话问候她： 问她吃了东西没有。。。 想要我打包个foot-long sandwich给她吗？ 我知道她一定会要。。。。 吃了午餐也会要。。。 还会张开双手开心的拥抱我， 迎接我。

在我意志力最脆弱的时候； 当我差点想要认输时： 我接到了call - 朋友说要我替他代班。 就是应为这样， 我要紧牙根， 掉头就走了。

起码， 工作使了我分散注意力。 今晚受到她那SMS： 如果是今天下午三点半受到的话 - 恐怕我已经打了败仗。

Defeat at 3.30pm

I never thought that, I've got such a strong determination. For every road I walk; every street I pass; every corner I turn, I would think of her, but I keep telling myself - I can't disturb her revision.

Opposite where I waited for a bus lies a Greggs shop. Looking at the large crowd of people outside the shop queing up to buy its aromatic hot pastries - I had a slight urge, to buy a freshly baked roast chicken bake to enjoy with you. However, I simple frowned and boarded the bus.

When it was tea time, I went to refectory to grab a cup of coffee and Mars bar. When I'm eating the chocolate bar whilst waiting for the coffee machine to finish vending my coffee - I had another slight urge, to just purchase another cup of latte and a Kinder Bueno chocolate bar for her to enjoy. However, I closed my eyes, turned and left.

When it was late in the afternoon, because I exercised for 3 hours this morning, as well as not having anything much to eat today - I was desperately hungry. She doesn't know that - I actually had my lunch at Subway which is only located opposite her place. At that moment, I really wanted to give her a call to ask her if everything was alright: asking her whether she had something to eat... If she wanted me to take-away a foot-long sandwich for her. I knew, she definately would've wanted it... Even though she had lunch... She would even greet me happily with her arms wide open, embracing me.

Whilst my determination continues to falter; until the verge of admiting defeat: I received a phonecall - my friend need me to work on behalf of him tonight. Because of this, I grinded my teeth together, and just left.

At least, working has devided my attention a lil'. I received an SMS from her tonight: if I'd have received it at 3.30pmthis afternoon - I'm afriad I would have suffered a big defeat.