Winter's Here Again

It's that season again: when you look out the window and it looks pitch black when its only 5pm; when you walk out the door you're greeted by the harsh wind and annoying drizzle... Yeap, winter's here, once again.

Winters are not a good thing. It makes you feel depressed; it makes you very emotional; it makes you dead lonely; it renders you nostalgic; it makes you vulnerable; it drives you to the corner and cry your eyes out - sometimes even feel like killing yourself. I think you get the point now.

Winters never bode any good fortune for me. It has always brought me bad luck and sadness. In other words: with the dawn of the chilling icy winter, my life plunges into hell, and my soul comdemned to damnation - not literally, but I feel that way anyway. Winter 6 years ago: I got seriously ill and thought I might just die. Winters 2-5 years ago: I wasted my life away, achieving nothing despite my parents' effort to make me a better person. Last winter, I died... Emotionally... For the first time.

The biggest effect of winter has kicked off with a grand opening within me today. I'm depressed and at a lost today for no reason whatsoever, and this encouraged me to review myself; my life:

1) Have I done my duty as a christian? To love and follow God's will for me and my life?
2) Have I done my duty as a son? To love and respect my parents and to live up to their expectations and not disappoint them?
3) Have I done my duty as a brother? Mutual care and understanding between my sister; shown and guide the way for my rebellious brother?
4) Have I done my duty as a lover? Love and comfort her, making her feel secure and letting her know how I feel for her?
5) Have I done my duty as a friend? To always be there for them, trust each other and not betray them?
6) Have I done my duty as a student? To pursue academic excellence to the best of my abilities for a brighter future and career?

I feel unfulfilled. I feel I have diverted from my true path. Have these basic important points been somewhat neglected in anyway? A good self-reviewing session is in progress, redemption is hopefully, on its way.

PS: I tried buying my sister a bottle of aloevera drink and honey flavoured cruchy tit-bits from the japanese restaurant: hoping to cheer up myself and another fortunate soul. It did help abit. Yokata... =)