到时候说再见了

各位亲爱的忠实读者，

我很抱歉地以沉重的心情宣布给大家知道：经过又漫长又细心地记载我的網絡日記，我决定把我的網絡日記"C]-[[_]]\[GY s@ys"关闭。

在过去的几个月里我发现了几宗事件。我发现到有些读者对我表示了反感或担忧。

我不想我的读者看了我的網絡日記，胡思乱想地随便猜我的为人到底是怎么样的。我網絡日記上比较感性的文章只不过是我自我表达的一个方式；而不是表达什么问题或者是我的神经错乱。

我更加不想无心地觸犯我的读者的感受。我明白每个人拥有不同的忍耐力；不同的幽默感，还有更多的根本不愿意透露自己的身份太多。我相信我多年来的忠实读者都热爱阅读我的網絡日記，应为我天生比较开放，不太介意以文字来表达我真正地亲身思想与感受。可惜，这态度也就成为了我的绊脚石。

这網絡日記原本是让我记载我生活中真贵得回忆，一个我能放开胸怀地表达我的心思。现在，我被逼跟随不同的规则，条例，法律等等。。。这網絡日記已经失去了它真正的意义。继续下去就等于带上个面具扮小丑。

最后，我只想说："C]-[[_]]\[GY s@ys" 依然会保持它现在的现象。这是应为这網絡日記里实在拥有太丰富的回忆，真的很不舍得把全部撤除掉。这網絡日記里代表了我多年来在大学深造的生活，我踏入成人世界的过程，里面包括了我一生里难忘的3个爱情故事。

谢谢大家一直向来都在支持我。请大家继续保持联络。

这次我完了；不过不是完蛋了。



张丛辉

Time to Say Goodbye

Dearest loyal blog readers,

It is with a heavy heart that I announce that after 3 long years of slow but patient blogging, "C]-[[_]]\[GY s@ys" is finally shutting down.

Over the recent months there have been a few incidents that were brought to my attention. It is to my realisation that some of my blog readers are upset or worried about me.

I certainly do not wish my readers to make general asumptions on the kind of person I am, based upon my posts. Note that some of my more "heartfelt" materials are but my way of expressing my artistic side; not expressing my problematic or psychotic side.

I certainly do not wish my readers to feel offended regarding my posts. I realised different people have difference tolerance level; different sense of humour, and many more whom do not wish to disclose much about themselves. I believe most of my loyal readers enjoy reading my blog because I reveal alot about myself as well as my genuine feelings. It seems this has proven to me my kryptonite, ironically.

This blog started off as my personal journal for memorable events, a place where I can speak my mind. Now it seems with much limitations + rules + law etc... This blog has lost its true purpose. There is no joy in blogging simply to entertain.

As a final note: "C]-[[_]]\[GY s@ys" will remain as it is now. I feel that there are simply too many memories within to simple just delete everything. This blog practically summed up my university life, my growth to young adulthood covering more than 3 relationships in my lifetime.

Thank you everyone for supporting me over the years. Do keep in touch.

THIS IS THE END FOR ME, BUT NOT THE END OF ME.



Chung Fui, Chong

Best Friend's Sister

Remember my best friend Shaun? Neh... The one who's blog "died" after a few days in Australia leh? Neh... The one who I thought his last post suggested that he abandoned his blog and went to fight for Malaysia's freedom.

Well, today I'm here to introduce his younger sister, Sheanne. I knew her since I began visiting Shaun's family many many years ago, not to mention seeing her alot back in primary school. Over the years she was quiet but I just thought, "maybe she's just very shy..."

Now, we're all university graduates. Times have passed; people have grown. Just met her last holiday and we had a very good chat.

[The 3 musketeers...]

This post is originally a "thank you" post. If you follow this link to the dedicatory post, you'll see she's yet another satisfied customer of Dr. Love (as most of you know). You can find the link to her blog with the rest of my other links.

It's That Time of Year Again

Sometime people ask me if I still feel it. I guess I still do. Leaving is always the hardest thing, and actually it gets harder and harder... I'm not immune, I just push it further and further away everytime.

It gets even harder this time as the next 3 months will probably the hardest 3 months in my entire life... I gotta fight and survive. Don't be too surprised that after almost 2 months of "radio-silence" from my blog; it descends into another 3 months of "radio-silence".

After that, well... I'll be properly leaving the academic world in April next year. Quite sad actually, to think that I'll no longer be able to enjoy the benefits and luxury of being a student. Also, it marks the beginning of a long long journey of career building. Wonder where I'll be in 10 years?

Was looking back at my BA degree days, and the fun I had. Below are photographs taken at Alton Tower's "themed dressing-up photoshoot". ^^ That's my elder sister and younger brother with me.

["Doncha noe its jolly rude ta interfere wit a man's poker game?"]

[I call this the "Jack Daniel Advertisement" shot...]

Just went to the dentist today to have my top-left wisdom tooth filled. Felt a lil' roughness there and thought it was odd - to my amazement there was a great big black hole there which was hidden from mortal eyes! After an excruciating painful 45 minutes, I've decided that I would brush my teeth with much more care for the rest of my life.

About Growing Up & Taking Responsibility

An incident as brought to my attention a few days ago, which led me to understand the mistakes I have been making in the past.

I realised that blog posting requires a great deal of responsibility and that my words in the past might one way or another, have harmed or offended others. Although I believe I come from a family of good morals and up bringing - I've been rather insensative about my words and actions.

I'm greatly ashamed and embarrased of what I've done.

I realised that even though I can't escape from my mistakes of the past, I've gradually grown up and matured much over the years, and have come to accept my wrong-doings; taking full responsibility of my actions.

I am officially and sincerely apologising to anyone that I've hurt or offended throughout my time blogging, and will make any amends and changes neccessary to correct them. I hope I'm worthy of forgiveness.

As for the incident mentioned above, I will make it my top priority to meet directly with individuals and parties involved to convey my sincerest personal apologies.

Time Flies

It just seemed like yesterday when I started my MA course, but just yesterday, I completed and handed in my last written assignment (except the final big-ass dissertation of course), and presented my dissertation proposal on a 20 minutes Power Point presentation.

Just had a nice long dinner with a couple of coursemates yesterday, and we talked about the on-goings this year. All of us just can't bring ourselves to believe that this is over.

I had a throughly enjoyable time throughout my MA degree course, though I must say: it was alot of hard work.

[A wanna-be Chinese cemarics expert... ^^"]

Life Changing

Sometimes I wonder to myself, if I'd taken a different path in life, where would i end up?

Did you know - if Chungy had decided to approach life in a more conventional style, he would have became a:

A) Doctor
B) Architect
C) Lawyer

Choices A + B = I'll probably still struggle in university doing my BA(Hons) degree. Eugh!

Choice C = I'll be stuck in an office filled with black and white monochrome penguins, mastering the art of paper-pushing.

Maybe if I've decided to study abroad in Australia instead. Valz's photographs of univeristy life seems so carefree and relaxed, I wish I was there.

Perhaps going to US would have been a good idea. I'll come back with my "yoyo wassup bruva" attitude.

Now, I'm stuck here miserable doing my dissertation ALL OVER AGAIN. "This is the last..." I tell myself. I really can't handle another damp and cold winter in UK anymore.

PS: My dearest Fion is going back to Hong Kong in June for good. Talk about life changing huh?

Technological Age

I love the future. Teaching using wide-screen projectors and wireless keyboard and mouse.

Also, the most talked about new feature from Facebook: the Facebook chat. Speaking of Facebook, have I told anyone before that I hate people who put fake names and profile photographs? It's like: if you're so damn embarrassed about your identity then don't even sign up! I hate it when I actually have to make the effort to find out who the hell's adding me by sending an awkward "hey, do I know you?" message.

What happens when you add Facebook chat and state-of-the-art education technology together?

PUBLIC FACEBOOK CHAT!

I promsied Valz I'd post about this. Here it is. Was checking my Facebook in class when she popped up and chat with me! ^^

[Note the sexy wireless keyboard and mouse. Also, yes... They're viewing your profile and your photographs, Valz... ^^"]

Given a Reason to Update

Q: Do you believe in love at first sight?
A: I believe in the good feelings developed during the first sight is long-lasting and precious, but definately not falling heads over heels over a girl.

Q: Do you eat without brushing your teeth?
A: I do actually; I just brush after eating.

Q: Where is the place that you want to go to the most?
A: To start a new career and life in Hong Kong.

Q: If you can have 1 dream to come true, what will it be?
A: Becoming a successful person and a loving husband; earning a good living and providing financial and physical security for my family.

Q: Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
A: Depends if I'm looking from the right angle, correct?

Q: Do you like being who you are today?
A: I could've done better, but if it wasn't for the ups and downs in my life, I wouldn't be who I am today.

Q: If you win $1 million, what would you do?
A: Savings + investments in properties and antiques. Typical Chinese hor? ^^

Q: If you meet someone who you love, would you confess to him/her?
A: How should I put it. Girls these days would just think you're desperate and scaring them awawy. I'd just make a very good first impression.

Q: Given an option, which brand of shoes will you buy between Jimmy Choo and Manolo Blahnik?
A: Clearly, Tess... This "tag" is not directed at a guy! -_-"

Q: Would you paraglide?
A: Sponsor me and I'll paraglide every morning before breakfast.

Q: Which type of cars I love the most?
A: Ah... Now this question would reveal more of my unique personalities. I love vintage American muscle cars. Anyone selling a Ford Mustang GT Shelby 67'?

Q: Which do you prefer from your other half? Hug or a kiss?
A: Somehow kissing has become "domesticated" in my current relationship - not saying its not good anymore; my heart still skips a beat everytime. However, her hugs expresses much more of how she feels to me. ^^

Q: If you have faults, would you rather that people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
A: I would appreciate calm but stern long talks - only from people whom I trust , over a cup of teh tarik in late night mamak.

Q: What do you think is your most important thing in your life?
A: God followed by love (the whole lot) and technology.

Q: Are you a shopaholic or not?
A: No. I've got one pair of jeans. If my one and only pair of jeans rip, then I'll buy another one. ^^

Q: What kind of electronic device/ gadget you own that you like most?
A: My obsolete Dell Inspiron 6000.

Q: If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
A: Be a more sensative, wise and hardworking person.

Q: What makes you pissed?
A: People who think they're better than others; people who look down and threaten me.

Q: If given a chance, do you want to see your future?
A: Tempted, but no thanks. I'd just discover it day by day. It keeps my life more interesting.

Q: Would you swim in a vat of chocolate?
A: A bit too kinky for my liking... But if someone else joins me... hell yeah. ^^"

It's Fun to Stay at the...

Yeap, you could almost sing along with me. I've always wanted to post about this but it keeps slipping my mind.

You know how they always associate YMCA to gay guys? It's not far from true actually. Since joining a monthly gym membership at the YMCA for a couple of months, I finally come to realise why this is so. You won't believe how many gay men go there... It's like a hot spot to chat up sweaty but good-looking men.

NOTE: I din't say I was sweaty; however I din't say I wasn't good-looking either. ^^

Let's proceed to the sizzlin' topic of the men's changing room. I can't seem to figure this out: why do men in changing rooms (gay, bi or straight), can't resist sneak-peeking at another man's... How shall I put it... "Family jewels"?

Rest assured my fellow friends: I know staring is not very polite. ^^ However, I realised most men were quite well endowed. I've gotta say... Made me feel insignificant sometimes. I turn around from the urinals only to see this naked man coming out from the cubicle, and I'm like "dude! Could you check the temperature of the toilet water whilst sitting on the toilet shitting with that MONSTER?!?!?!"

OOOooo... I've sharpen my gay-dar so much I can identify a gay men from a mile away! For example:

Q: How can you tell which one's the shy gay guy?
A: He is the soft-looking one, showering with his underwear on.

Q: How can you tell which one's the STUPID & shy gay guy?
A: He is the soft-looking one, showering with his SEE-THROUGH underwear on.

More updates on the YMCA to come! Stay tuned! ^^"

["Listen guys... I paid for my membership, ok?"]

Funny Things

First and foremost, the funniest MSN Messenger avatar quote this week from my friend Naj:

"To the person who drank my strawberry milkshake - I will hunt you down and inflict upon you a thousand years of pain..."

Funny because:

1) Naj the short and boney dude is trying hard to sound threatening. (Crowd goes "Woooooo...)
2) Naj, you're so gay... You drink strawberry milkshakes!

Just read this article where the crown prince of Saudi Arabia bought the champion of a camel beauty pagent for millions of dollars.

I can't decide which is funnier:

1) The fact that he wasted millions of dollars buying a single camel (maybe it got nice "humps", eh? get it? "humps"... ^^"

OR

2) The fact that there is bloody camel beauty pagent! WTF!

What has the world come to?

Things I Like To Do Before I Die

Just a while ago, I was speaking to Fion about what I'd like to have/do before I die, here's a quick rough list...

Don't laugh! ^^"

1) Be knighted as "Sir Chong" by Her Majesty.

2) Own my own island.

3) Travel to space.

4) Own my own 1 Michellin Star or better restaurant.

5) Join the British SAS Commando Elite.

6) Win the Nobel Prize.

7) Win an Oscar.

8) Make my way up the top of Mt. Everest.

9) Save someone's life.

10) Own a penthouse in Manhattan, overlooking Central Park.

11) Have my face appear on the front cover of the Time Magazine.

12) Appear on the Forbes List of the World's Top 500 Richest People.

13) Finish my phD and continue my research to become Prof. Chong.

14) Build a school for the poor, like brick by brick.

15) Own a house-on-water, overlooking the beautiful Hong Kong skyline, so I can stand on my grassy roof and drive a few golf shots into sea.

This is what I can think of so far... I know it sounds ridiculous, but its just idealistic thoughts.

[Malikawat ruins, near Khotan (Hetian). Me in my Indiana Jones expedition mode... ^^"]

Home Sick

Quite ironic to think that I flew halfway across the entire world for 13 hours to Shanghai, which is so close to home, yet I couldn't go home.

Truthfully, I kinda miss home.

Truthfully, after 8 years... I'm kinda sick of UK. However, I must endure for a while longer.

[In front of the Beilin Museum, Xian - where all the best calligraphic scrolls are stored... I seem so much happier back in Asia, a place full of Chinese people...]

Back from China

Hey everyone, I'm back from China! I've got loads of photographs to show; lots of stories and experiences to share, but we'll keep things nice and sweet for now.

Just yesterday I had a very funny conversation with my best friend Shaun's sister, Sheanne. It's only funny if you understand Chinese... It's like a word-play joke.

Me: 一夜在上海，我留下许多情。。。

Sheanne: 你肯定不是。。。“流下许多精”？

Me: 不是“流下许多精”！是“留下许多情”！

Here's a poser photograph taken from Gaochang ruins of Turfan, Xinjiang. More to come.

[As I gazed at the sinking sun in the horizon, peering through the smouldering sands of the Taklamakan desert... I wonder... If I'll ever acheive my dreams someday...]

Cap Goh Meh

Was doing my daily visit to my best friend Shaun's blog, and read this very heartfelt message from him:

今日乃华人农历新年元宵节，旭感到很寂寞与无奈。更让旭感到无奈的是无法上线，错过了和家人视讯的机会，让旭无法看见远在家乡的家人。旭感到非常抱歉，尤其是从小宠爱旭的外婆。我想，外婆必定在挂念她在大澳的外孙吃得饱不饱，穿的暖不暖。也让旭感到抱歉的是，旭无法在大日子里亲手上香。

以前，旭无法完全去体会诗人远在他乡思念家人的感受。今天，旭终于感受到了那种思念。旭也在这里跟大家分享这首王维的诗：

独在异乡为异客
每逢佳节倍思亲
遥知兄弟登高处
遍插茱萸少一人

祝 元宵节快乐
爱你们的旭

I still remember the long night both of us spend in the mamak talking about our future and life experiences. Often he couldn't see my point of view, or truly comprehend what I feel. Now, I'm very happy to know that he has grown mentally stronger. Stay strong, bro.

Such deep and meaningful words, and the poem just hits the spot. Shaun, you've always been the artistic one. In fact, Shaun won first prize in every promary school competition for calligraphy and art. He was the best of the best. My interest in art was sparked from this very buddy of mine. ^^

I remember there was once this art competition in primary school. He is well equiped as usual, with his set of 100 colourful crayons and black marker pen. He'd even bring his prelimenary drawings from practicing a few nights ago to refresh his memory. Towards the end, he was struggling to finish his artwork. He broke into tears, but he kept going and going. Even the teacher took pity on him and gave him more time to finish it. He won first prize, yet again.

Shaun, if your reading this: try not to give up your love of art. Even though it might not be a career path like mine, it will be a great part of your character.

Speaking of Cap Goh Meh - I haven't celebrate it for so long, I forgotten what exactly is Cap Goh Meh...

PS: If anyone requires translation, I can try... When I return from China. ^^