The 3 Musketeers

As promsied, I'm going to blog more about my childhood and past. I find memories of my younger days timeless and I cherrish them alot. My sister and I (we both got up to plenty of naughty stuff together when we were young), often talk about the old times: they never fail to bring smiles to our faces.

Todays topic of reflection is: best friends. I have many friends, but there are 2 of them, I treat them as if they are my blood brothers. Many people say we have nothing in common, and find it surprising that we click with each other. Kids, that's when we are all innocent, and we make friends without a hidden agenda; no strings attached. Now, after 14 years, we are still going strong. Shaun and Yun Han, I thank you 2 for always being there for me and have made my childhood so interesting and memorable - and still continuing making more memories for the future.

As a tribute, I found these younger day pictures from primary school: I think it was Teacher's Day when we were in Standard 5! =P

[*Shock* It's me. Fat and sad. Sad because I fell from a bicycle and fractured my left arm, hence white bandage. =P]

[The ever shameless Shaun, showing off his amazing physique. =P]

[The always jolly Yun Han, demonstrating the mad scientist grin. =P]

Recognise these pictures guys? What a walk down memory lane: those WERE the good times.

Somethings Will Never Change

This is an after thought from my sister's blog post.

"Studies", with a capital "S". Oh! How important the word. I'm 20 year old and yet, I think its something that no one will ever get tired of stressing. I have been a regular customer on receiving these advices, since I was a baby.

The things I had to overcome for my studies: it really does sum up my life. I was neglected of outdoor sports (hence was a fatty) so I could stay indoors with something educational; I have my PC cables pulled off so I couldn't play computer games; I lacked social life because I wasn't allowed to go out with my friends to do non educational stuff. My entire childhood life was filled with tuitions and extra classes; I left for UK when I was 16 to search for a better educational future, leaving my normal life behind, facing a whole new life of challenges which left alot of determental effect on me now; I kept any interest with girls close to myself fearing my parents would scream my ears out.

Parents would see what they believe. Waking up 9am in the morning to study when everybody is still asleep (like today) = not studying; studying late in the night (almost every other night) = not studying; group revision sessions in library in the evening (a few time a week) = not studying; trying your best in what you do (all the time) = not studying. AHHH... Scoring well in examinations (rarely) = studying! DAMN, I'm not very good at this arn't I?

It is a student's responsibility to study; and it is a son's resposibility to live up to their parents standards - but it is also being a human to live a life. I remember during my A Levels, my mum told me this and I quote, "if studying so much and you still don't get the grades, means you have to study harder, even if it means less time to eat..." Everytime I think about this, my heart sheds tears of pain. It has come to this level. I get no credits for trying hard, no pat on the back - I only get credits for scoring.

Its really sad when a person's views no longer matter to anyone: especially a son's opinion doesn't matter to their parents anymore; no longer gains their parents trust. It's fine, I can live with that: I have been living like that for 20 years now, I'm getting used to it. However, whenever I realise how lack of trust my parents have on me, it makes me sick. 2 years ago. I felt so distant from my family that I never even called them when I was in UK (we're talking months). It seems, my past have dug my grave. Well done. Sometimes, I even wonder: they might be more proud if I end up dying a miserable 20 year old boy but with an Oxford University degree certificate stuck on the front of my grave. If studies are really SO important that is worth disowning a son - I really AM speechless.

I wish to make my decisions, keep my part of the promise to live up to it (at least try my best to live up to it), and hope that people around me, would trust and support me in my decision - not having their will imposed upon mine. They have to realise: their lil' naughty boy has grown up, and his thoughts and opinions need to be heard, no longer needs spoon feeding. If they love me and trust me, then trust me to make my own decisions (I have been brought up the right way to make fairly coherent decisions), and support my decisions. They should understand, if I chose my path: I am willing to make the sacrifices and face the consequences.

Hence the pressure. I try hard to make the grades. So many things are on the line because of my studies. If I have a girlfriend - my parents would blame it on my girlfriend; if I play computer games - they would blame it on the computer games; if I watch much TV - they would blame it on the TV; if I work - they blame on working. I think you get the idea. It's very unfair. Its like when I got short sighted when I'm younger, mum blamed it on computer games, NOT studying too much. Funny things is: I don't really play computer games much considering the PC WIRE IS UNPLUGGED FOR MOST OF THE YEAR! I'd rather they just be sensible and blame me for not caring for my eyes, it wouldn't hurt (emotionally) so much.

Most of you might think this is a rambling of an unmature teenager whom thinks he knows too much (see what I mean about nobody listens to me anymore?) Have it your way. I'm still going to study hard, AND I'm going to live a life - my life. My studies will still remain my 1st priority, but there are the lil' things in life that makes life more important which shall not be neglected such as manners and traditional values.) I will try my best to acheive my dreams and I hope you people out there will bare witness to this, because at the moment: I'm alone as usual - nobody stands on my side or understands me.

A Decision Made

Last night, it was my friend Hamed's 22nd birthday. He asked me to come out for a wild night, but I told him: "I got alot of work to do, an essay due in on Monday, I'm really tired, and I've gotta work as a tempura chef on Saturday..." Basically, all the reasons one can give. But he looked upset and persuaded me. "I just turn up for a few drinks then", I thought.

Scu Bar 2 is just opposite where I lived, so it wasn't too hard to locate it. As a good gesture: I bought him a shot of tequila - one for myself as well. Situations got slightly out of hand, and by the time it reached 10pm: we licked alot of salt, drank alot of tequila and sucked on plenty of lime. Not a wise decision.

Later, he decided that everybody should go for a dance in a nigthclub called M2. I was reluctant to go, gave my excuses again, but he was getting drunk and would not take "no" as an answer. I thought: "no harm, just bear with him for today... Gotta watch out for him too..."

It was amazing how we got into the club with 8 drunk people (only me and another Korean guy maned Ajin, a restaurant workmate of mine, stayed relatively sober). We started dancing on the dance floor. However, the situation changed dramatically. In came 4 Spanish girls, friends of my other workmate named Hideki (half Japanese half Spanish). Might be just me, but they started to get abit... Close.

They're just friendly, I thought. Then phase 2 came: 2 English girls just came from nowhere and started dancing with me, sandwiching me in between. A sudden feeling of guilt and disgust came over me. This is a new feeling for me, what should be done?

A) Continue dancing and have a good time with no intentions.
B) Ask one of the girls whether they want to go somewhere "quieter". (I DID have a good chance)

or

C) Reject them modestly and stay away from them.

My decision was: I left the dance floor, bought a Jack Daniel Coke, and sat on the corner by myself, smoking. I finally figured out where this feeling of guilt came from. It din't take a genius really. I miss my girlfriend, Valentina. This had made me miss her even more. I sipped my drink slowly, and without notice, I went through half a pack of cigarettes in a short time of an hour. I made my decision: its time for me to go. After saying short farewells to everybody and the birthday boy (whom is gropping all the girls' arse on the dance floor), I left.

Just out of interest, would like to hear my fellow friends on their choices. Male AND female!

The Most Expensive Car in the World

I've always pondered, which and how much is the most expensive car in the world? Surprisingly, its not a really well-known brand. Here it is ladies and gentlemen, the most expensive car in the world: the Bugatti Veyron.

Here comes the price: it costs 839,335 British Pounds or US$ 1,468,836.25; or if you're Malaysian - RM 5,547,439. That is HELLUVALOT! *GASP*

For most of you interested in its "wah" factor part: it does not require a number plate, since there's only so few of them actually in production, they know who buys them. It has a cool automatic rear wing that extends when the car goes faster than 135mph. The engine itself is bulletproof. It has amazing full leather interior. It's even faster than all the F1 cars with a top speed of 252mph!

For those of you interested in the geeky statistic parts of it: it is powered by an 8.0 litre V16 engine with 4 turbos, which produces up to 1,001bhp.

Don't even bother writing this down on your Christmas wish list, unless your name is Bill Gates etc...

Are You at Risk of a Heart Attack?

Just saw this program on TV: thought it was interesting, and wish to share it with everyone. Now, what is the easiest way to measure whether you are at risk of a heart attack? According to this guy, there is a simple formula to this.

You measure your waist size (I presume the tip of your belly; in my case: my growing ugly spare tyres) and hip size (the widest part of ur hips; in my case, the part where your jeans cling on to or else it will slip off). Then, you devide your waist size with your hips size. After that you get a number. If the number is below 0.9, then you are apparently risk free. The higher the number, then the higher your risk of a heart attack. So, if your reading states 1.8, then it means your twice the chance of risking a heart attack.

My reading states I'm slightly at risk. I know. I haven't been exercising at all and have been eating like a pig! My sister have been addicted to going to gym ahd she is well under 0.9. DAMMIT! I have to start organising a proper time table which includes time for exercise! GANBATE!

Winter's Here Again

It's that season again: when you look out the window and it looks pitch black when its only 5pm; when you walk out the door you're greeted by the harsh wind and annoying drizzle... Yeap, winter's here, once again.

Winters are not a good thing. It makes you feel depressed; it makes you very emotional; it makes you dead lonely; it renders you nostalgic; it makes you vulnerable; it drives you to the corner and cry your eyes out - sometimes even feel like killing yourself. I think you get the point now.

Winters never bode any good fortune for me. It has always brought me bad luck and sadness. In other words: with the dawn of the chilling icy winter, my life plunges into hell, and my soul comdemned to damnation - not literally, but I feel that way anyway. Winter 6 years ago: I got seriously ill and thought I might just die. Winters 2-5 years ago: I wasted my life away, achieving nothing despite my parents' effort to make me a better person. Last winter, I died... Emotionally... For the first time.

The biggest effect of winter has kicked off with a grand opening within me today. I'm depressed and at a lost today for no reason whatsoever, and this encouraged me to review myself; my life:

1) Have I done my duty as a christian? To love and follow God's will for me and my life?
2) Have I done my duty as a son? To love and respect my parents and to live up to their expectations and not disappoint them?
3) Have I done my duty as a brother? Mutual care and understanding between my sister; shown and guide the way for my rebellious brother?
4) Have I done my duty as a lover? Love and comfort her, making her feel secure and letting her know how I feel for her?
5) Have I done my duty as a friend? To always be there for them, trust each other and not betray them?
6) Have I done my duty as a student? To pursue academic excellence to the best of my abilities for a brighter future and career?

I feel unfulfilled. I feel I have diverted from my true path. Have these basic important points been somewhat neglected in anyway? A good self-reviewing session is in progress, redemption is hopefully, on its way.

PS: I tried buying my sister a bottle of aloevera drink and honey flavoured cruchy tit-bits from the japanese restaurant: hoping to cheer up myself and another fortunate soul. It did help abit. Yokata... =)