Mummy Says...

Chirstmas holiday is here but I feel nothing has changed. When you start to get free time on your hands, at some point you start to think more about life. Time for a self review... Again.

I realise I am quite aimless in terms of short term commitments. Holidays are here, its usualy for people to start planning out their holidays, you know, the usual "I'm going to do this and that". For me, I am lost. I don't even ponder about it. All I can see is: working on Saturdays and Sundays, sleeping at the most odd hours, playing computer games, revise for examinations in January. Full stop. I realise I don't make things exciting. Do I like it monotonous and plain? Do I like my hotdog without mustard and ketchup? I wonder...

However, I'm a big dreamer. I dream of many great things to come. I dream of getting an interesting and exciting job, earning my own money, buying my own car, coming home to my own home, eating my wife's home cooked meals, playing with my children, falling asleep by my wife, dying old in bed peacefully.

My mum always tell me, "Chung Fui, don't talk so big, you're not even done studying university yet..." I know this but it makes me wonder, is it wrong to be a dreamer? or should a person be more realistic with life? I asked the literally, all knowing: mummy. Surprisingly, for the first time, instead of criticising me, she actually took this topic of conversation quite seriously, giving me her most wise and in depth advice. Is this finally the beginning of an adult conversation? =P

She said that: a person can dream, what's life without dreams anyway? Everybody must have a dream or aim which they can live towards but people tend to get carried away. Being realistic and down to earth is good, things can be planned out logical and systematically, but people whom are too realistic tend to look to pesimistic side of things at hand, they wouldn't do anything risky, taking uneccessary risks in life. So... Which one?

She continued: a balance of both, basically, but one line really did ring a bell. She said, "Chung Fui, a person needs to have an aim in life, BUT... There is no use dreaming over it unless you take determined actions in order to achieve your aims. If you achieve what you set out to do, then... You are a realistic person." I was left baffled as these words of wisdom as they set into my brain.

BUT... this wasn't the end! Here comes the criticisims. *SIGH* Somethings NEVER change. =(

She followed on: A lil' university undergraduate like you, think you own the world just because you start earning that lil' bit of money from the restaurant. Don't even get carried away enjoying the benefits of earning that lil' bit of spending money. A 20 year old like you have your entire life to work, you have to fill youself now with all the knowledge, then with your "full stomach of ink", you can strive for a better future.

STILL... this wasn't the end! Here comes the story telling time. =(

She lectured: You think getting rich when you're 20 years old is a great achievement? Let me tell you this - I started my singing career, earning my own money when I was 15 to support my family. Just look at your cousin A and cousin B. Cousin A din't pursue with studies and went to work; cousin B stayed and graduated from university. At first, cousin A seemed so well off, you know, able to buy what they liked, own things they want at their early 20s, how tempting it is. But when cousin B came out to find a job, straight away, with his experience and knowledge, he was able to get a salary more than twice of cousin A. Now, cousin A is struggling in life, still stagnant there, while cousin B is doing better and better.

Typical example. Parents just can't stop comparing. It does makes me think though. Call me vain; call me too proud, but my friends used to tell me to try out modelling. There used to be this "talent house" as they call it, where you can audition and if you're talented in some way, they guide you towards stardom, apparently. Now here comes the vain and proud part: they think I would've made it as a rich and successful teenager if I walked this path. The reasons my friends thought so was because, I've got a unique mixed "see once, can't forget" look, good height and build, sense of humour and charm. I even nearly got persuaded to participate in a MTV VJ audition.

However, it dawned upon me. There is something more important than life than just being rich, especially being rich quick. These days, you walk down the street, you see lil' grils with LV handbags; lil' boys driving Ferraris': they're perfectly nice decent people, they earn their money and spend it in the most legal and sensible way - but this picture just doesn't fit. I draw myself a mental picture: me, 20 years old, driving sports car, talking business, attending important events - no, its not me - maybe when I'm 30 years old, yes. =P If you gave me a million dollar when I'm 15, 20 and 25 years old respectively, I would have treated the money differently - well... Some people like my mummy managed her money well when she was 15, so it doesn't apply to everyone of course. I just think a 20 year old, should have more important things to focus on rather than worrying about growing up and be succesful - what happen to taking life step by step? Why the rush? So, like modelling, people get old, people get pimples, people even get accidental scars on their face: a sudden mishap might mean shattering a person's rice bowl. Now THAT would be tragic.

So I'm not a model now, I'm a 2nd year university student. Do I like my hotdog with mustard and ketchup you say? Let me answer you metaphorically: I dream of making a hotdog sauce containing a mixure of mustard and ketchup: although dreaming too far, but prepared to turn it into reality. *Eats plain hotdog* =P