2005 Review

Picture 4 people cramped into a 2 room student flat, eating steamboat, drinking port, watching TV... That's how my New Year's Eve was like. As we watched the magnificent fireworks display on television live from London Eye, my mind drifted off for some time. Perhaps it was the port, perhaps it was the slightly raw turkey meatballs I had - my thoughts slowly defused into a flashback of the year 2005. Compared to my other flashbacks, this... This is of epic proportions: lasted for like 45 minutes.

I have quite a gift for remembering memorable/unmemoralbe stuff. My friends often marvel at my wierd ability to be able to remember he most minor incidents in our childhood, therfore a flashback of 2005 is merely a piece of cake for me. If I close my eyes and commence my flashbacks: I could almost feel and picture those memories vividly as if I was there and then once again. I cherrish my memories. My review of 2005 was like watching bits and pieces of a DVD, jumping from chapter to chapter.

My conclusion was, this was a rather turbulent year for me. If you were to plot it on a chart - it has more ups and downs than the Dow Jones stock market. At some point, I felt like top of the world. I felt like I could conquer anything and faced anything that stood in my way. I felt that nothing could ever go wrong. At certain times however, I felt like the most insignificant speck of dust in the air, so useless and powerless to overcome my own problems in life. I believe I have lost focus of myself as well as my true aim in life.

I suppose I can't complain much. Life is unfair to everyone: it would be impossible that someone had a perfect wonderful year or vice versa. I suppose I just had my fare share of ups and downs just like everyone else. Its just not right for me to sit here and moan and mumble about such stuff, where I believe some other people in the world are suffering far greater than me. I consider myself quite lucky.

I guess a new year requires new resolutions. I've never promised myself anything in my life, it's always promises to someone else. This year, I will make an effort - I'm not going to just sit here and cry about my misery anymore. Since my birthday is coming, I suppose I should make an even bigger effort to fulfill my resolutions this year. Here they are in random order:

1) I realised I have been too self-centered last year as if the entire world revolves around me; this year I will listen and accept what others have to say and learn from them.
2) Made alot of mistakes last year; would learn from my mistakes last year and make sure not to repeat those mistakes again.
3) So depressed last year even my mum asked me to see a psychiatrist; hence I will try and control my emotions more sensibly this year.
4) Too lazy last year, must become more hardworking this year.
5) Developed a very selfish heart for self-defence against harm since I came to UK 6 years ago; will try and loosen up and be more generous to people and give more than receive.
6) Must eat healthy and exercise more (after exams of course).
7) Really cherrish those people around me that really love and care for me, pay more attention to them.
8) Be more considerate to everyone.

God knows what lies for me in the mists of 2006. Whatever lies ahead, I plead that God, please have some mercy on me.