鞋盒时光机

不知为什么，要等到过了凌晨两点才会提起精神收拾东西；收拾心情。不知是应为夜晚的平静；还是午夜的孤单，收拾房间的时候，难免会想起很多的事情。

其实，我都很喜欢收拾房间。有的东西看也不看就扔进黑色的垃圾袋；有的却很惊喜在房间某某黑暗的角落找到以为永远失去了得宝贝儿。人人说我收拾房间收拾地那么慢：这可是应为我一面收拾，一面手会拿着充满回忆的东西，嘴笑笑或头摇摇。

在床地下的影子里，我忽然间找到了一个被抛弃了一边的PRADA鞋盒。盒子到手，开也没开，只看了看；就似海边的浪风，从我深深的脑海带回来了许多的回忆。盒子里的内容，虽然忘了那么旧，还是给我留下了深刻的印象。不知过了多久，我依然还坐在床头，看着鞋盒发呆，越看双手就抓得越紧。一方面的我，很想把鞋盒打开；一方面，想关上眼睛然后把鞋盒与里面的内容统统扔掉算了。我心里很清楚地知道：把鞋盒打开，我又会乘坐时光机回到从前的世界。

外面坚强可是里面虚弱的我。。。竟然心软，竟然把鞋盒小心地放在“要带下伦敦”的箱子里。我真是傻，真是个没用的臭小子。

不过，我很久以前已经答应了自己：以后再也不会发梦乘坐感情时光机了。

说到这里：我现在真的很想念你。。。我的宝贝FION。。。^///^

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Shoe Box Time Machine

I don't understand why, but I could only settle down and start packing my stuff and my feelings at 2am. I'm not sure whether its the calmness or the loneliness of the night, but everytime I clear my room, its almost inevitable for me to drift away into my thoughts.

Actually, I kinda like to clean my room. Sometimes I end up throwing things away into a black bin bag even without looking twice; sometimes I surprise myself when I discover some long lost treasures hidden away in the dark corner. Everyone complains that I'm relatively slow at packing: this is because everytime I pack, I tend to have flashbacks of memories everytime I hold onto something, either smiling or shaking my head.

Beneath the shadows of my bed, I unintentionally found a neglected Prada shoe box. As the box reaches my grasp, I din't even need to open it, all I did was stare at it; the memories all came back to me like a gush of sea breeze just as if it was yesterday. Althought I've forgotten the content of the shoe box for a long long time, but the contents certainly left a very vivid memory in my head. I've lost touch with time - God knows how long I've been sitting on the side of the bed, staring blankly at the shoe box, as my grasp of the box becomes tighter and tighter. A part of me wants to open the shoe box, but another part of me simply desires to close my eyes and chuck the shoe box and its contents away for good. My heart knows for sure: if I were to open the shoe box, I would be dragged into a time machine on a journey to my past.

Physically strong, but mentally weak... My heart gave in, and I placed the shoe box carefully in another larger box labelled "to being to London". I'm so silly, I'm such an incapable fool.

However, I've made a promise to myself a long time ago: I would never ever dream of taking a ride in the time machine of emotions again.

Speaking of which: Right at this moment, I really miss you so much... My darling Fion... ^///^

寂寞和孤单

爱情这老故事：说起来真的奇妙。

许多年前，我相信爱情会给于我无限的勇气，
面对俩人之间的摩擦；
解决俩人之间的纠纷，
爱的勇气真是强盛无比。

最近，南风传来了遥远的哭泣声，
轻轻飘柔着我从没听过的讯息。
原来，俩位远方客人到来探访，
有请介绍：寂寞和孤单。

听说寂寞这臭小子真调皮：
把人家脑海里的回忆一律扔掉；
听说孤单这坏蛋也不简单：
把空空的脑海占为己有。

这就是第二十一实际的最佳爱情杀手：寂寞和孤单。
观众们，都准备好了安全措施吗？
我听到了：远方飘扬到耳边的哭泣声将要来临了。
我看到了：遥远仿佛来了俩位不受欢迎的客人。

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Boredom & Loneliness

Love: an old story which is a topic of facination.

Many years ago, I believed that love provides the ultimate courage,
to face the differences between two people;
to solve arguments between two people,
the power of love is indeed great and invincible.

Recently, the southern winds brought a distant sound of sobbing,
twisting and twirling within it comes an unknown message.
It seems, two travellers from far away have paid a visit,
introducing: boredom and loneliness.

It is said that boredom has been really naughty:
it emptied precious thoughts from ones sea of memories;
It is also said that loneliness is not an easy opponent too:
it takes advantage of the emptiness and claim it as its own.

These are the ultimate killers of love in the 21st century: boredom and loneliness.
Fellow audiences, are you ready?
I hear it now: The crying sound from a distant is drawing closer and closer.
I see it now: two unwelcomed travellers are emerging from the nearby horizon.

Chungy
(dedicated as a blessing to those whom sense the rising tide of darkness in their distant relationships.)

永不完美的故事

很久没有在BLOG上用华语来表达自己了。忠实的读者都应该知道：每当我用华文来表达自己的时候 - 是表示我真的受伤了。

我。。。我又让妈妈哭了。。。

我真的太天真。以为说了几番不应该说的话，可以改变事实。天真的我没预料到这可能是永远都不会改变的事实。

母子之间可没分谁对谁错。我并没有企图争论谁对谁错。只不过想告诉妈妈：我长大了；大人之间必需互相尊重，互相了解。

没想到。。。22岁的我还是弄巧成拙：也许把已清淡的感情更加拉远。

我心真的非常不安。我坐在这儿，一面想哭可是哭不出来；一面听着隔壁房间传来妈妈的哭泣声。这感觉。。。实在难受。 一个男人不掉眼泪，不代表他不伤心。

“眼睛泪水干；心中血滴流”。。。这就是上帝献给我的诅咒。

只希望上帝能有一天让我妈妈明白我这番心意：我并不是造反或败家，我依然那么地疼爱我妈妈。我只不过以为：今天。。。今天可能会是我们俩人的NEW CHAPTER；可惜只不过翻会到了历史书的PAGE 1。

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The Neverending Story

It's been a long time since I blogged in Mandarin. Loyal visitors of my blog would know: that whenever I blog in Mandarin - it's to show that I'm hurt.

I... I made my mum cry again...

I'm so naive. I thought that by saying a few uneccessary phrases, I could change the truth. Being naive, I did not realise that this would be a never changing truth.

There should be no rights and wrongs between mother and son. I never intended to argue on this topic of conversation. All I wanted was to tell my mum: I've grown up; there should be a mutual respect and understanding between two adults.

However... I still screw up at the age of 22: seperating an already fragile relationship, dragging it even further apart.

My heart is troubled. I'm sitting here, wanting to cry but the tears just wouldn't flow; whilst listening to the sad sobbing and moaning noises from my mother's room. This feeling is... extremely hard to bear. Just because a man doesn't shed a tear, doesn't mean he is not sad.

"The eyes are dry, but the heart bleeds"... This is the curse given to me from God which I'm to bear.

I just hope God would reach out and grant the grace that my mum would come to realise the reasons behind my actions: I'm not trying to be a trouble maker or bastard, I still love my mother ever so much. However: today... Today was perhaps the day we could start a whole new chapter in our lives; unfortunately it turned out to be a case of flipping back to page 1 of our past.

It's All Over... For Now

Sorry for the lack of updates people, my parents have arrived in the UK so I'm busy babysitting. ^^

Ladies and gentleman, after years of suffering and hard work... I've finally graduated! Even more memorable - my graduation day also marked my 6 months anniversary with Fion. ^^

[Don't even mention how fat I am... I know... Academic achievements did come in a high price... -_-"]

Heres a video my sister took during the confermation of my degree. Hope you enjoy!

[See... I'm so polite... I even bow! ^^]