女人汤圆

Just a few days ago, I went back to my primary school (Sekolah Rendah Jenis Kebangsaan Cina Kuen Cheng 2) to visit my beloved teacher whom never gave up on me when I was a lil' rascal back then. Mrs. Choong, never shun me aside when I gave her all those problems yet she made me the person I am today. I'm still so well recognised until today (thanks to my legacy of bad deeds), even the headmaster + deputy headmistress + discipline teachers all still recognise me. In fact, I've made such a change in appearance and made such a good impression - they offered me a job as a substitute teacher for the summer! I'm still considering.

How nostalgic it would be, to walk into a class I used to walk in 14 years ago. It's even more ironic, that 14 years later, I walk in not as a student, but as a teacher. When I told my mum, she chuckled and replied in mandarin, "小心给那些女学生当成汤圆那样搓" which means in English, "be careful not to be pushed around/manipulated by those female students - like squeezing the round Chinese glutinous rice dough". This got me thinking.

Is it so obvious, even to my mother, that I'm a push over for girls? Just because I've got a lil' special space in my heart to be compassionate to women, does that make me vulnerable? Needless to say, I'm completely hopeless when it comes to relationships. I'm the Korean drama type of guy according to my friends... The ones who embraces the ideology where "if falling in love again means getting hurt again - I willingly do it all over again..." Hmmm... It rhymes.

Perhaps I willingly let girls/women take advantage of me. Damn... I feel so stupid.

[My most recent self portrait - manipulated till perfection...]